...am still angry

While on chat with a school friend with whom I was connecting after more than fifteen years, I typed, ‘I married a fiend from College’ instead of ‘I married a friend from College’.

I think my Computer knows me. …. and the husband!

I love my computer.

In Mumbai on my Birthday- alone!

'Saurabh while you cancelled your official trip for my birthday, am stuck with one now! For the very first time in nine years I would be away from you on my Birthday..... organizing and attending an event.'

'You would be celebrating your birthday with 100 architects and dealers .....and THE boss.
Miss me.'

' Thanks. That just made me so much excited about my day.....
Aren't you preponing my gift?'

'No! You never told me on what exactly you need.'

'A gift is supposed to be a surprise. Do you want me to fill in a requisition form and get prior approvals?'

'I hate surprises.'

'I love them.'

It doesn't work anyways since I don't.
............Listen, do not drink tomorrow.'

'I WILL.'

'Fine. Do not dance though.'

'I WILL.'

'Fine. Do not dance after getting drunk.'

'I WILL.'

'Stop showing fake concern. I would do as I please. '

...............

......
'Would you be turning x this year?'

'NO : X-1!
And before you frame another question in your mind, you do realize that I am coming back to you- right?
You want me to- right?'

'Why does this not sound like a like a multiple -choice questionnaire?'

Fantasize!

'Minal would you stop painting these leaves now? At this rate you would end up painting the entire wall.
.......Can you also make a basket for the leaves towards the bottom?'


'Saurabh this has been my childhood fantasy - to actually paint on the walls and not get scolded for it. And, yes- I think I am getting addicted to it now.'

'Even as a child, the words fantasy and painting did not feature in the same sentence for me!'

Do not expect me to come up with answers as am still searching. Though, you can if you have one!

‘Who are you?’ said the Caterpillar.
This was not an encouraging opening for a conversation. Alice replied, rather shyly, ‘I – I hardly know, sir, just at present- at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.’

‘I don’t know what I want Saurabh.

For me getting what I want has never been a problem- But, I have always struggled with finding what I really want.
This picture-book-perfect life that I have created for ourselves is what I had dreamt of- reaching here has definitely not been easy and I have continuously struggled to maintain it. I had prayed for it - Night after night. Worked and strived for it.
And, I am happy!

But there is something lacking. Now, that I have what I had set as goals for myself- where do I go from here?


‘Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?
‘That depends a good deal on where you want to get to.’ Said the Cat.
‘I don’t much care where-‘ said Alice.
‘Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,’, said the Cat
‘- so long as I get somewhere,’ Alice added as an explanation
‘Oh, you’re sure to do that,’ said the Cat, ‘if you only walk long enough.’



I don’t mean professionally- another promotion, another increment, another job. No!
I don’t mean materialistically- another house, a bigger car. No!
I don’t mean personally- a family. No!

I mean – me!
How do I evolve from what I am today? How do I grow as a person, as a human being? How do I make myself see each day as a wonder, all over again?
How do I keep myself alive - every moment!’

‘I really don’t know how to make you less restless, or to question yourself and your life every waking moment Minal. ….I think, that keeps you going as a person.
But, I can just tell you about myself and hope it helps you.

Unlike you, I want a routine. I don’t seek new avenues. I want to wake up next to you for the many, many years to come. I see you sleeping blissfully, peacefully every morning and I am amazed. Each morning is new to me- Each night is. I hold your warm body next to mine and I feel I am home. Secure, I tackle the world. I take it on- to come back to you.

I see you in that torn yellow kurta and a black wrap-around skirt almost every other night- and I do not seek anything else. I want the familiar. I want this sameness.
I know my limitations as a person- I have made peace with it.
I think you need to resolve your inner conflict…… your sense of not utilizing your full potential. I know you are more talented than me- but I also know that you are so much more unsure and so much more insecure than me.
Love yourself a little more Minal. I can only love you and tell you so.’


For, you see, so many out-of-the-way things had happened lately, that Alice had begun to think that very few things indeed were really impossible.

We are in Goa

So, have you ever heard of the fact that Koel- yes, the bird, does not hatch it’s eggs but slyly lays it in a Crow’s nest and makes him do all the dirty work and the foster parenting?

My grandmother had told me this on a cold winter night, while we sat huddled around a small kerosene lamp during the frequent power cuts in our lazy, beautiful small town.
I thought that the Koel was quite mean to attempt doing something like this.
I hated the Koel.

Now, while packing for our Goa trip, while the organized husband had a neat small bag with his itsy bitsy pieces of clothing, ready for the trip- I returned from work at 10 in the night, quickly threw in anything that was not work-clothes and had some more to be stuffed in which would not fit into the overflowing bag (If you are wondering on how the two paragraphs are related. Please hang on. I am not great at analogies but I need to tell a story) I very slyly stuffed a few more of my emergency clothes into Husband’s bag while he went for his shower. He carried the bag all the way, down the apartment lift, to the airport and from one hotel to the other not realizing all this while that why his itsy bits-ies were suddenly so heavy.

Once we reached the hotel while I slyly removed my clothes from his bag I felt like the Koel.

I felt quite mean.
But, I was singing like the Koel. All the way!

Lost and... found!

“Saurabh I am lost.”

“You had left for X’s house. You have not reached as yet? You left like HOURS ago.”

“No. Don’t be silly. I reached. We had fun. We gossiped a lot- Hey did you know that A and B are divorced. And did you know…….”

“Minal you are lost.”

“Oh yes. So, I reached but while returning I can’t figure my way out. Dude I am totally like that guy in Mahabharata- Abhimanyu? I went in but can’t figure a way out.”

“Dude unlike Abhimanyu you simply had to drive through the SAME way out. And just drive.
Where are you now?”

“ Somewhere! Near some buildings.”

“Minal Minal focus. Sweety do you realize that there are buildings all across Gurgaon? WHICH BUILDING?”

“Hmm Pink building? Does that help? Am sure there are not many pink buildings. Statistically, it looks quite impossible. How many sane people would paint their house pink? It’s horrendous pink.”

“This would not work. Which road are you on? What can you see around?”

“Cows. Trees. Some guy with a snake around his neck asking for alms. EEEEEEKY. ”

“Any road sign?”

“I AM NOT LOOKING. THAT GUY WITH THE SNAKE IS OUT OF MY WINDOW.”

“Calm down. Just ask him to not bother you. They are harmless. Just scream at him and ask him to leave.”

“Sigh. Yes. He left- I am on a road. Where is the sign? No can’t see any road sign. Hey. But this looks familiar.”

“ So, what the hell were you looking at as of now?”

“No- wait. Remember that party in 2003 when we had gone to with X, Y and Z and remember I danced so much and I was so happy? And remember you had dragged me away from the dance floor? And remember I had asked you to stop the car and let me go? And remember I had told you that you were the most despicable character? And remember I had asked you to give me a divorce? And remember I had stood on the road at three in the morning and you had driven away? And remember you took a turn around the crossing and were back in a second? And remember how I had cried? And remember how I had kicked you?


“Minal is this anyway related?”

“YES SAURABH. I am at the SAME crossing. At exactly the same place where you had left me at 3 in the morning, alone, in the middle of the road. OH I SO HATE YOU. I AM STILL MAD AT YOU.YOU ARE A PIG.”

“Minal do you see a red coloured building on your left? “

“I HATE YOU.”

“MINAL MINAL- Take a left from there. Minal – start driving now. It is quite late.
Minal come back home. To me!”

Till Swine Flew

“Saurabh I am still hungry. You are going for a hair cut- Right? Get me something to eat."

“You just had one tub of Belgian Chocolate ice cream.”

“Which part of the sentence – I am hungry, STILL!- you do not understand? I think it was the STILL part. So, here I repeat- Saurabh, Yes I agree I just had one full tub of the ice cream- ALL BY MYSELF but I am STILL hungry. Can you get me something to eat?”

“You are a pig.”

“That makes you a pig too. Since you cannot marry inter-species.”

“No. I am a birdie.”

“Yes- Right – A Dodo!”

“No. I am a small birdie- about to fly.”

“You definitely do not fit into the definition of ‘small’.”

“See here I am flying- f l y i n g , flapping my wings and here I take off- and here I crash- on a PIG. YUCK!”

“GET OFF ME. You need a personality check. You CANNOT be a small bird. GET OFF ME. AAAAHRGHHHHH
HRRRMPHH!”

“That is not how a pig speaks. I can’t understand you. What are you saying?”

“Chirp Chirp”

“That is not Pig-Speak”

“DODO that is Bird- Speak . So that YOU can understand and move your heavy weight body from mine.”

“No! Pigs are definitely not multi lingual.”

“I am a talented pig. HRRUMP- MOVE!”

“Chip, chirp, twit twit- I am singing. I am a small birdie. On a dirty Pig. Oh a dirty, yucky pig- I am a small birdie.”

“GRUMP- HRRRUMPH??”

“Tweet, Chirp.”

“OINK OINK??”

“Chirp, tweet, chirp.”

“HRRR, HOWL, BOW

HELL! HOW DOES A PIG TALK??

%$&*$#@

GET OFF!!

OINK?GRUMP?HRRRMPH? HRRMPH?”

“Tweet, chirp, tweet, chirp”


Disclaimer- In our household when we do manage to converse in Human-Speak -trust me, we do Intelligent-Talk. Like REAL Intelligent- Talk

Sach Ka Saamna

“This Wednesday at a party with my mad- bunch- of- friends, once everyone was merry and happy, late in the night, we ended up playing Truth and Dare. Lots of secrets were spilled out and exciting gossip shared. But my life was definitely the most uninteresting and if I was on Sach Ka Saamna I might have had won you a lot of money.

The audience was quite disappointed though, since you were the only man that I have had an affair with, the only man that I have ever kissed, the only man that I have had sex with, the only man…”


“I do know and understand the ONLY part in the last sentence, but is there any specific reason that you are continually stressing on MAN as well?”